Jane Bond, Uptown

I talk a lot about Jane Bond, like “Oh hey, eat at Jane Bond it’s so wicked guy” but I didn’t actually eat there until recently. Turns out, it IS wicked guy! Do people still say ‘guy’ or is that like sooo 2005?

JaneBond2I’m a vegetarian so for me Jane Bond is like experiencing what it’s like to be normal again. It’s a good thing that there aren’t more veg restaurants or else I’d be like “fuck this vegetarian thing, being able to eat more than one menu item is so liberating from the chains of being a self righteous a-hole.” Experiencing it only once in a blue moon is like treating yourself to a spa day, when you commit to it, you really appreciate that shit.

There are so many choices at Jane Bond, I had the pickle soup (I just ate a pickle for the first time a couple months ago because I was like, I hate cucumbers and you pickle are just a vinegary cucumber!) but I do actually like their pickle soup. And then I had the eggplant parm sandwich and oh man, that thing was delicious. They put a little marinara on the side and I was in heaven…a very acid-trip style of heaven thanks to the psychedelic decorating thats going on over there. I love this place, I love it so much that, if I believed weddings were a good idea (which I don’t – yah I said it) I would get married there! THAT is how good it is. I wonder if they do catering…..

I just really enjoyed it overall, it’s totally up my alley because it’s a fun place and I can eat everything on the menu. If you don’t like cool places or if you need meat to feel like you’re a man, then don’t go here.

 

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My promise: no more phoney shit.

I read a lot of blogs and stuff on the Internet and I’m so bored of it all! Everyone is trying to sell me something, trying to co-opt a safe ‘online identity’ and it’s like we’re fucking robots! It’s like we’re all trying to appeal to everyone and all that comes out it some phoney bull about “liking” and “thanking” and “how to Tweet better.” I’m over it. The best blogs I’ve read lately aren’t treating me like I’m some mass consumer from Withcita, wherever the fuck that is. I promise to do my best to keep it real. I promise to say something critical and unique and funny so your time wasting is enjoyable. I’m not People magazine, I’m not a corporation, I don’t have a brand I’m trying to sell. The internet is freedom and I’m not going to let it silence me into mediocracy! If Miley fucking Cyrus can prance around and do whatever the hell that was and make millions from it, than the rest of us have something to learn.