Why apartment hunting sucks and is not remotely fun.

Apartment hunting is the worst. HGTV has made apartment hunting seem fun, but really it’s not.

It’s exciting and fun to look inside a new home and wonder about all the amazing HGTV DIY things you could do to the space. But generally, the constant searching, visiting locations, making impulse decisions that feel like bullying, and the insecurity of  the “is this a good deal” conundrum are just the beginning of the awful journey of making a “home” for yourself.

Then theres the packing and moving. And the start up costs for your first and last months rent (or the down payment, lawyers fees, closing costs, and moving vehicles), the internet, cable, and hydro (which go into hundreds of dollars). And there’s the cleaning, endless amounts of cleaning up  your old place (if you’re nice enough) and your new place. Scrubbing the bathroom tiles, the fridge, and the grease off the kitchen backsplash. And you’ll have to move all the appliances to get the food and things that fell behind many years ago that the previous resident didn’t choose to pick up. Heaven forbid they had a pet… you find cat hairs centuries old in the corners or maybe a urine stain in a hidden spot after an upset kitty was left alone for too long. But that’s not where it ends. Once you have a clean shell of a home, you will want to paint, decorate, maybe renovate the floors or some shoddy drywalling. And then you have to unpack, find a spot for everything you have that either overwhelms the space or leaves it looking stark. You’ll most definitely need some new furniture, or organizers, or tools to help make the space most efficient. And then in the first year of living there you’ll for sure have some “exciting” surprises: ants take over the bathroom, flooding fills your basement, your neighbours are loud or weird, the place is a energy sucker… it’s always the same usual junk.

As someone on the verge of an apartment hunt, I’m already feeling defeated. But like any person that has to move, it’s one of those obstacles I have to face. And with years of experience being strapped on the back of a 4×4 and pulled through the streets to be mocked and heckled by the townspeople (figuratively speaking of course), I am now prepared to strap on my well seasoned armour.

These are my apartment rules, unbreakable because while the place will be cute on a passthrough, without these things I will be led to insanity.

– Double sink in the kitchen: essential for doing dishes and just not hating life everyday.

– Laundry: I’ve avoided going to the laundry mat for 7 years now, I will continue to do so.

– A full bathtub: I love baths, but I also like washing large things like garbage cans or dogs (please make sure to wash your tub between these activities), so having a full bath just makes my life easy.

– Separate rooms: I don’t do a studio or open concept thing. When there’s a lot of people around, one needs to escape or even if there’s just one person around, I need to get away from you.

– Windows: big windows make me happy, and balconies or an outdoor space makes a winner.

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